ESPN College Football Rankings Tuesday, Sep 16 2008

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ESPN College Football Standings Tuesday, Sep 16 2008

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Once Upon A Fortnight Friday, Jul 25 2008

So it makes me chuckle, my last post was exactly fourteen days ago — a fortnight. The reason it makes me chuckle, as some of you may be wondering, is because I just watched a couple videos on YouTube of Demetri Martin. One of his witty ‘jokes’ is him saying when something good happens to him he’s going to wait two weeks to tell anybody, solely because he likes the word fortnight. Anyway, let us move on to the stuff that has been piling up, on my BlackBerry, that deserves to be talked about.

Okay, so the first thing on my handy little task list is “People in motorized scooters in stores.” So where to begin? Let me just tell you what was going on when this little topic popped into my mind. I was walking through my local Fry’s, minding my own business, when this lady jetted out from an aisle right in front of me. Now, I’m a level headed guy, it didn’t really get to me. It definitely would later on though. So this happened on the extreme East side of the store where all the produce and bakery goods are. I needed to get to the extreme West side of the store to the milk. So naturally I just strolled behind this lady, pullin out my handy BlackBerry and texting all my friends, waiting for her to just turn down an aisle — something she didn’t seem ready to do. This wasn’t what bugged me, it was more her thinking she owned the whole store. Multiple times I watched her get angry with somebody who didn’t instantly jump out of her way. She even got into a mild shouting match with some punk thug. It was quite amusing. So anyway, we were heading toward the milk when she pulls past an aisle, stops, throws that scooter in reverse, reverses a touch, then starts going forward again. It’s like the lady couldn’t see down an aisle until she was almost past it. Granted, I know she didn’t have the best viewing angle but she did that on six of the remaining eight aisles. That drove me absolutely nuts. Anyway, I get done with my shopping, finally, and as I head out of the store guess who I see. Little Miss Scootermaniac. I watch her park the scooter, stand up, and walk out of the store. She didn’t even need it at all. That really pissed me off but I just let it go — hoping she’d get hit by a car outside.. Just kidding.. Kind of. So it leads me to the fact that stores need to regulare who gets the scooters. My solution: Get rid of them. If you absolutely cannot walk around the store, there can be wheelchairs. Those things don’t have motors.

The next topic will probably make you think I’m a cold, heartless bastard — I’m not. It deals with the ESPYs and the fact the Kevin Everett won an award. If you don’t know his story it breaks down pretty simple. He was a Buffalo Bills Special Teams member that got injured executing a rookie mistake in the first game of the season. After the ball was kicked a member of the Denver Broncos was running witht he ball and Everett ducked his head, to take the hit, which promptly broke his neck and sent him to the ground. Now I’m all for everyone supporting his strive to get back to wellness.. but that’s about it. The man made a rookie mistake and apparently that makes him award worthy. Just.. wow. Maybe if I did something stupid and got really hurt I could get an award. Perhaps? Bah, whatever, it just shows how much society likes to play out a sob story for all it’s worth — an ESPY in this case.

This also has to do with the ESPYs, although not the same thing. If you weren’t aware, Tiger Woods won the ESPY for “Best Male Athlete.” That is quite comical. Are we prepared to call a golfer an athlete? I mean, I know the guy would completely wreck me at golf, but I’d get wrecked at the World Series of Mah Jong as well. I’m not really going to delve too deep into this one, it’s just something that made me laugh. Mr. Woods won the award over Tom Brady and Kobe Bryant. Who the hell voted for this?

The final piece of rantworthy information is a touch tasteless, really. It’s good ‘ol friends with benefits. Now I’m not Mr. Player, nor am I Mr. Attractive, but I’ve had my fair share of sexual encounters. Both with girlfriends and with just friends. The reason I bring this up is because one of those encounters, just a friend, has recently been bugging me for favors. Nothing of the sexual sort, just things like rides (car rides you sicko) and to get her cigarettes. Now, I absolutely HATE cigarettes even though my parents smoke. So I’m not going to support a filthy habit, especially with a girl that only seems to talk to me anymore when she needs something. So what does she do? She tells me she wants me to pay her back for all the times she fooled around with me and got nothing. You know, the couple of times she gave me dome, a quick little thing. Now instantly this brings the thought of prostitution to mind. It makes sense, right? I mean she wants me to pay her for sexual favors. Not necessarily with money, but with material objects. Even if it is after the fact, does that make her a prostitute? I’m not really sure, but what I am sure of is that when you’re fooling around with someone, you better get satisfied too. Don’t try to hold off until six months later and try to say they owe you. It’s not going to work.

So that’s all I’ve got for now. I was going to insert a bit of my take on Dane Cook stealing jokes but decided not to. If I ever want to be a comic, I don’t want someone to steal my material! Ha.

Anyway, until next time..

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Second Degree Burns Friday, Jul 11 2008

So I recently went to a local water park and let me tell you, it is not the same as it was when I was thirteen. The wave pool was a bit of a let down. The slides were still fun but I really went there to enjoy the wave pool. While there I had a couple interesting moments with my two buddies. They each got hit on. One of them by a girl that we all agreed was attractive. The other by, well, a girl that we pegged to be probably thirteen. It was a hoot. We were standing in line waiting to go down one of the slides when all of a sudden from behind us there’s a faint “Hi.” We all turn around and look and there’s this girl with her friend just standing there with a shit eating grin on her face. We all utter an awkward “Hi” right back to her. Then we all found out her real intent. She looked my buddy right in the eyes and says “I like your puppy board shorts. I mean boxers.” It was utterly ridiculous. He let out a “Thanks” in that oh so awkward tone we’ve all come to love and adore. So basically this guy will never live that one down. The rest of the day me and my other buddy were poking fun at him by randomly saying “Hi” in a very feminine voice, occasionally adding a bat of the eyelashes to mock the situation further. The whole day was actually a nice change of pace from my normal, day to day, encounters. The only thing I regret is the same thing everyone regrets after a day of fun in the sun. Sunburns.

Now I got your normal shoulder, back, chest, leg burns. Nothing too major, I’m Hawaiian afterall. The thing that completely boggles my mind, though, is that I got a burn on one part of my right hand ring finger. I wear my class ring daily so I have a nice little tan, rather white, line. Well this white line on my finger got sun burned to hell. It’s the worst burn on my whole body — hurts so bad I can’t wear my ring. Just for future reference if you’re ever smart enough to take off your ring(s) when going to a place you’ll probably lose it(them) be sure to put sunscreen where they normally reside. It’s the most awkward, and mildy excruciating, pain I’ve ever endured. Chalk that one up to experience.

So the first topic on the agenda of things I find quite odd relates to reality telivision. More specifically the show on MTV “Parental Control.” If you’re not familiar with the show the format goes someting like this:

The parents of a person don’t like their son/daughter’s current gilfriend/boyfriend. So in order to try and break up their child’s relationship they go through a process sponsored by MTV. The parents, sometimes mom and uncle — basically two elders, interview blind date prospects for their child. Each parent picks the boy/girl they think would be a good match for their child and they send them on a blind date. The parents sit down in their livingroom with the current boyfriend/girlfriend and watch the entire date on a decently sized television that must belong to MTV. At the end of the show the kid must decide who they want to date, their current boyfriend/girlfriend or one of the new people they just went on a date with.

My real issue with the show is at the end, if the person picks one of the new people, they’re current, well technically ex, just throws some lame hissy fit and walks out. Some of them throw up insults and threats but never hold true to them. Obviously this has something to do with MTV and them being on the show. But think about it like I do. If my girlfriend chose some other guy over me that guy will be falling to the ground fast. I’m not going to just say “Ahh this sucks screw you!” and walk out. No no no no no, I’m swinging at the guy instantly. I know it’s not the most mature thing to do but why would I just sit there and watch some other guy hug and kiss my girlfriend? Now you probably think I’m some sort of immature teenager that just wants to fight. I’m not, I walk away as much as I can, I’m actually quite a calm and reserved guy. I can have my moments though, just like everybody else. Plus I’d never be in that situation because whatever girl I choose to date, her parents will love me. It’s just my personality.

Any thoughts? Opinions?

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The Beginning Friday, Jul 11 2008

Okay so here’s the run down. I’ve been blogging on another WordPress blog for about four months now. The reason I’ve decided to create a brand spanking new blog is quite simple — I’ve changed my vision for my blog. My old one started off as a way for me to vent my feelings about my life and what surrounds me because of a breakup I went through. As I’ve grown and matured, in only four months — amazing I know, I’ve realized that I need to just get over it. I don’t want to have anything to do with F-type experiences. That’s a reference I’ll use whenever mentioning the girl or situation that sparked my blogging mind.

Since it’s inception my blog was meant to just express myself and that has not changed. What has changed is the feelings I express. I no longer wish to express depression, in it’s entirety, and just down trodden feelings in general. I want to express opinions and beliefs that aren’t controlled by F-type situations.

I’m not a big supporter of anonymity but I don’t feel you need to know who I am exactly quite yet. I want my views to be judged on what they are, not who I am. If my friends end up reading this, so be it. They’ll already have predisposed opinions. This is for everyone else. I just want to gain an audience. It will be fun, oh yes it will.

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